re-construction

It's weird how everything can change, so fast. But I don't want to just, erase the past. I can't forget it. The past is what builds the future.

So, now I'm back to my old state. I've been doing stupid things, and I'm missing certain things. You wouldn't want to see me now. It's gonna be a jeans summer. I haven't really been eating... that was what really started it all... that was what made me this- this-

(But we've finally found out my medical condition; I'm anemic. Yep, every one of my conditions leads to that major one. So I need a crapload of iron in my body now. And anyway, I've barely eaten in the past month, and I'm currently on a diet of 1 bottle of Boost, 1 bottle of Ensure, 1/2 a bottle of Gatorade, and about 2 cups of bran flakes, a day. I need nutrients. And well, I just feel like crap. I'm a complete mess right now, but I'm on the road to health. Soon enough I won't be - as weighted as I was in the past (to put it bluntly, not as fat - which my Mom (of all people) is super happy about). I'm going to be weak though.)

I don't want to think all deep and philosophical because it just brings me to a place where I don't want to be. Not right now. I remember being happy, as depressing as that sounds, for I am NOT right now. A simple item can break me down into tears. I'm afraid to go outside, because of how different things affect me now. It's going to be like this for a while, I can promise you that. I'm going to have to build a new immune system, again. A stronger one, because something was able to break my last one.

Time to construct some new blueprints.

And I think it's time for some re-construction on this page as well. I'm going to change the name and such. I'm not singing the blues- I just live it.