documents

So it's all like "somebody said something, now I feel like crap." Well, sorta.

I'm getting a bit better. Much better than how I was earlier today. I've been going through old documents and such on my computer, and I swear to god, I was the funniest kid ever in grade 8. Yay for not having any friends! But then I also found the darkest poetry I've ever read in my life - it was actually really hard to read. it hurt. I was also depressing as hell. This stuff was written in grade 10 though, and that year was a living hell, so I guess it's acceptable. The two things that hit me the most were (warning, emotional poetry time):

With a sigh I slipped my hand in my pocket to feel the cool metal blade. My fingers tingled to the touch and I knew it was my time. I quietly sneaked out of the house, and walked in the blackness, into the forest. There I sat, alone. Isolated. Nothing but the stars were looking down on me. I could do what I wanted to in peace. I was contemplating, but then I decided what I had to do.

 And.

I touched the darkness and could hear wind crying through my ears calling for me, waiting for me to take one more step out of the light. The shine is safer than the shimmer and I don’t want to slip and fall down into the depths. They will take me away and I will be free. I would be in a fresh asylum and the uproar of the stillness will never let me go of my grasp.

Because, when I read them. I remember everything that had happened. Exactly how I felt that past year. My writing has completely improved in the past year. Though, My English 10 teacher like me poetry. I've gone more into the humor writing now.

I just noticed many spelling mistakes in both of those...

Besides sadness, I found a song I wrote for my friend, which was again, written over a year ago. It was a good-bye, for I was switching schools, and she was moving (but still going to my old school). But now, with thanks to learning theory at my new school, I am actually building chords and harmony to this song, that I still remember the tune to.

Deep, philosophical moment.

Soon enough, it will all be better. If I stop hoping for the worst, maybe I'll be happy.

As Henry Ford said, "If you think you can do something, you can. If you think you can't, you're right again."