completely petrified

It's almost the end of the school year. It's weird for me. I've survived this year- this, fantastic year. I'll start with more recent news than the past; this past week I have apparently been passing out, and I just feel completely out of it. To top it off, this is a shitty keyboard, so I need to actually force that letter/button/key down. My arms feel like they've just been picked off the top shelf, dust blown off. My body feels- old? I guess you could say.

Day 1; And psyciatrists are lame, because apparently all of this madness is on account of lack of sleep- and I sleep, far too much, so his argument is invalid. Day 2; I passed out. A lot. Too many times. I got back to friends saying my name "Hannah. Hannah!" What happened? I start to sway around, and- and my eyes rolled back, and I shut down. And I've also just been zoning out a lot. I did the smart choice and called my Dad to give me a ride home from school. I almost bashed my head open. I have no clue what's happening. The doctor at the clinic wrote a long list of things that need to be done- mostly brain tests at a hospital, and doctor appointments and pediatrician appointments. But if it continues and happens more and more often, it's off to the hospital with me.

-tl;dr-

I'm going to put it out there that I am petrifyed of graduating. I don't want to be in grade 12. I don't know what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. So here I sit, looking at all my friends' graduation and prom photos. I have one more year of free education- so I might as well pick the courses I know will help me for the real world. But what are those courses? What is the real world for me? I don't know what my plan is for life, it seems as tough everybody around me has their own. It's actually- sort of- annoying. I should be planned out too. I feel my heart racing faster- I- I don't know why. Am I afraid of what is to come, or what I will lose-?